Please welcome author of The Ranch Hand, Erin Bevan with a lesson on showing versus telling in your writing.
Be sure to scroll down and enter our Valentine's multi-author giveaway and read all about The Ranch Hand.
Painting a Picture – Show versus Tell
The cork flew across the kitchen, as a stream of gold liquid spewed from the rim.
Roberto poured Amy a glass, using his left hand to hold his red tie to his chest preventing it from falling into the flame of the candle. The heart shaped chocolate soufflé sat in the middle of the table untouched.
Nora Jones crooned in the background.
His white teeth gleamed against his bronzed skin as the corners of his mouth reached for his eyes. Five years together and he still made her pulse race. Her red painted toes tingled in her red satin pumps and she couldn’t wait for him to slide the zipper of her dress down with his large hands.
“Amy,” Roberto said as he placed the champagne bottle back on the table. “We’ve been together a long time now.”
Her heart marched in her chest. This was it.
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a black velvet box. “Make an honest man out of me, Amy.” Roberto went down to one knee. “Marry me.”
Amy’s eyes filled with tears. She’d been waiting for him to settle down, ask her for over three years. Now, the time was finally here. She held out her left hand to Roberto as the doorbell rang.
Ding, ding, ding, ding, diiiiinnnnnggg.
Amy pulled her hand back. “Are you expecting someone?”
“Your mama,” he spoke in his thick accent. “She is here to congratulate us.”
Amy ran for the door and stared through the peephole. A very short, very round pregnant woman stood on the other side of the door.
She opened the door “Can I help you?”
The lady held a hand to her stomach. Her lips were straight, as she tapped her foot on the wood of the front porch. “Yeah, I’m looking for Roberto. My water just broke. “
“Okay, why do you need Roberto?” Amy glared from the lady back to Roberto who was coming up behind her. His face went white. “Roberto what’s going on?
“You’re boyfriend here is about to be a papa.” The lady clutched her stomach and bent over in pain. Her breathing ragged. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”
Okay, so let’s hope this doesn’t happen to you this Valentine’s Day, but did I paint you a picture? I hope so.
I didn’t just come out and say that he popped the cork of the champagne bottle, but by context clues I’m sure you gathered that much.
I’m also sure you gathered that with a name like Roberto, the main man was Italian and with the heart shaped souflee and all the red thrown around that the special occasion was Valentine’s Day.
If I’d had wrote Amy sat at the kitchen table on Valentine’s Day as Roberto poured champagne. He pulled out a black box and asked Amy to marry him. Before she said yes, a lady claiming to be pregnant with Roberto’s baby came to the door. Valentine’s Day was forever ruined. Well, that would have been pretty boring and it wouldn’t really paint you a picture would it?
I’m not much of an artist, but I’m learning and there is definitely some truth to this whole “show versus tell” that I’m constantly hearing. What do you think?
Jason Haverty is looking forward to the fall horse drive, until his boss and uncle informs him one of the new cowboys coming in to help will be riding his favorite horse. His annoyance is furthered when the cowboy turns out to be a cowgirl—a quick-witted and confident blonde beauty. Trying to avoid her doesn’t work. The more time he spends with her, the more an unexpected protectiveness toward her grows.
Bobby Jo's Texas upbringing taught her to give just as good as she gets, a quality Jason finds frustrating and all the more endearing in this Southern Belle. When an accident on the trail places her in possible danger, Jason realizes she means more to him than he thought. The question is, does she feel the same?
Erin is giving away an eBook copy of her novel, The Ranch Hand.
Be sure to enter to win this and many other great prizes.
Erin Bevan was born and raised in Southwest Arkansas. She spent her teenage years working for her aunt at the local gas station flipping burgers and making milkshakes dreaming of the day when something better would come her way.
Fast forward ten years later, she found herself stuck inside an apartment in South Korea while her daughter went to preschool and her husband went to work. Alone and unable to speak the local language she turned to books for a friend. After reading a few hundred in such a short time, she decided to try her hand at writing one.
That first one sucked, but by the fifth and sixth book, Erin started to get the hang of this writing thing. Getting the first contract in her inbox was a dream come true. Now, with three babies at home, she squeezes in stories one word at a time, one sentence at a time, one day at a time. She’s a full time mom, a full time wife, with a little writer sprinkled in whenever she can get the chance.
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